Coloradan's are all D bags. The air quality sucks and you can't find a decent job anywhere. The mountains are really just hills, the water is pretty much polluted, and the city is dirtier than a hippie in the Phish lot. So, yeah! Don't move. If you do make a dumb decision, like I don't know- move to Colorado, make sure you do the Coloradan thing and advertise your new home state on your head with a B Fresh Gear classic dad hat like the rest of these morons. The other guys' Colorado hats are tame like a Garth Brooks concert. Our Colorado hat is as edgy as some Disco Biscuits and as vibrant as a midnight festy after consuming recreational whippets. From Sonic Bloom Music Festival to Arise Music Festival, experience the high of your life in the 'My Rent Just Went Up' Colorado Classic Dad Hat! You'll be cruising Pearl St. and Larimer Square pointing tourists (which you were yesterday) towards the nearest dispensary in no time. Colorado! At least the weed's cheap.
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