“Summer is here! Time to get off your couch and into the bush! No, not MY bush, but with my boxxx! This month’s boxxx has everything you need to be prepared for the great outdoors, even if that’s just Saturday drinking shirtless on your deck. Hey, one step at a time, am I right?

My favorite part about summer is the grilling. Nothing motivates me to get outside like food. My apron is sure to help protect your bathing suit but more importantly make you look like a grilling badass. Not only is it sassy as fuck, its black so burger grease stains are easily hidden. If you like my apron shop all my unisex clothing at RemoveToFuck.com.

Grilling is cool and all but let's get back to that other part… the part about the drinking. My multi-tool is not only small enough to throw on your key chain, it provides three essential outdoors needs. It’s (most importantly) a bottle opener, it’s a flashlight, and it’s a measuring tape. ok, I admit, the measuring tape isn’t really much for the outdoors unless your building a shed or measuring the distance to hang those new party lights you got, however, we can finally get to the bottom of a more important issue, how big your dick actually is. Go ahead and measure, I’ll wait.

Open your drink and keep it cool with my DD koozie. I told you I got everything you need! Don’t forget… spitters are indeed, quitters.

If you are fortunate enough to have, live by, or use a neighbor’s pool, you know what a pain in the ass it is to carry everything without pockets. My cell phone wallet is perfect for the pool days, or just if you want to carry less crap with you while you’re outside. It sticks right onto your cell phone case and is an easy way to carry a couple credit cards and an ID without carrying your normal heavy bulky wallet.

I personally tend to avoid the beach because I hate sand getting into everything I bring with me. But now, you can go to the beach or jump on a boat with my waterproof bag. Simply throw in your phone, keys, and whatever else you need to avoid the sand and stay dry. Just make sure you seal it properly because that could go horribly wrong.

What’s the point of being outside if you’re not going to see some wildlife? I live in New York City, all we have here are rats and squirrels. Good thing I threw in a Doc Johnson Vibrator! Pure silicone, 10 functions, and waterproof! Plus, it’s a little white rabbit that is super cute and small enough to throw in a bag or take on the road!

I also threw in some more of my DD condoms as a reminder to always practice safe (consensual) sex!! My “Do It Outdoors” boxxx is sure to get you outside this summer! Enjoy, and don’t forget to wear bug spray and sunscreen (oh, and those condoms)!” -Dani